"(Yes, another Top [x] list.) Everybody knows you should never, never, never shake a baby. For you n00bs who don't know any better, here are some more things you shouldn't do.

Top 11 Other Things You Should Never Do With A Baby:

1. Never, never, never kick a baby in the balls.
2. Never, never, never dis a baby in front of his girl.
3. Never, never, never fold a baby into origami shapes.
4. Never, never, never loan money to a baby.
5. Never, never, never turn your back on a baby while he's holding a gun.
6. Never, never, never tell a baby he's had enough to drink, because it's nobody's business how much he's had to drink.
7. Never, never, never let a baby drive a tractor.
8. Never, never, never give a baby Communist propaganda.
9. Never, never, never use a baby as gambling collateral.
10. Never, never, never put a baby on a spike.
11. Never, never, never let a baby talk you into joining Amway."